Critical Voice, who is in my head?

Ranting all day, whispering in bed.

Nagging and pushing and scolding and more.

I, Critical Voice, am not your whore. 

The following is an excerpt from my Walk With Love WisdomWell Workshop, Feb. 2013

I admit, what I teach is what I most need to learn. As I began to write this section of the workshop on critical voices, my stomach literally turned. I placed my hands on my belly, pushing into the pain, and what is the first thing that came to mind? “Damn, I have a squishy-ishy belly” or words to that affect. Recognition of what I did and the timing in light of this “Critical Voices” conversation, struck me as funny and more than a bit ironic. The Universe works in mysterious ways. I appreciate that once I became determined to bring my darkness to light many years ago now, how readily the Universe assisted me by creating ample opportunities to do just that. The point I want to make is that although my critical voice piped up and pointed out what I have yet to release as a “fault” and accept as a part of my unique and divine Self, I NOTICED IT! I caught myself thinking the thought. I stopped the ego in its tracks, simply by tuning into the auto-chatter during a moment of conscious clarity.   

I laughed at the silliness of this unconscious critic in my head, and the futility of her words. I noted how her criticisms keep the problem and its emotions alive in me, and I felt grateful for this moment of consciousness. So what did I do with it? I TURNED THE THOUGHT AROUND. (Turning My Critic Around exercise follows).

I changed this critical thought to, “My stomach has birthed three incredible babies; I am grateful that it is doing so well.” WOW. What a difference that made in the level of self-love and acceptance I suddenly experienced. Acts of self-compassion like this save me from resenting flat-bellied models in magazines, or unfavorably comparing myself to the hard-bodied woman who just crossed my mates line of vision. I can find inspiration in their form, instead. I can celebrate that they have mastered their bodies, and see that I can do the same if I choose to. Trust me, I can appreciate the contrast of having both the supportive and critical perspectives because I live them both. One is born of unconsciousness and the other of consciousness, and there is no doubt which place I will continually strive to live from; consciousness brings peace and happiness.

Critical voices emerge from a plethora of messages you have unconsciously accepted as truths or belief about yourself. Nothing about the messages themselves makes them true; they became your defining truths only because you were vulnerable in a moment, ripe for accepting someone’s words as absolute (likely someone you viewed as having authority) or you bought into a society with ego-driven values. These mistaken truths and their critical voices tumble in your unconscious mind and play themselves out daily, creating a tsunami in what would otherwise be the peaceful waters of your mind.

It’s Your Ego Speaking

Ego keeps you separate from love and in a state of constant and often critical self-examination. The ego is not you, but your “I”dentity; it rises out of your history and memories that as Tolle writes in A New Earth, “you identify as ‘me and my story’, of habitual roles that you play without knowing…It also contains personal identifications, not only with possessions, but also with opinions, external appearances, long-standing resentments, or concepts of yourself as better than or not as good as others, as a success or failure.”  

To quiet the ego and its critical voice, be cognizant of it in both yourself and others. Rather than reacting to someone’s egoic behavior, or buying into your own, which gives ego strength, recognize that the behavior is coming from ego and not from spirit. Note that the critical voice projected onto you by others; the angry, complaining, jealous, doubtful, accusatory, boastful voice, is not personal to you, but speaks volumes about their own suffering. As for the critical voice inside your head? Become non-reactive to its negative chatter, non-believing of its criticisms, and create space for the expression of the beautiful supportive loving voice of spirit within you. As Tolle points out, our non-reaction to the ego of others, and I’ll add, our non-reaction to our own ego voice, will help bring sanity to all. You can choose to actively observe rather than succumb to ego’s critical voice and divisive intentions.

Learning to love yourself may be the most important and the most challenging growth experience you’ll have. Self-love is the foundation for your happiness, and with it you will radiate love and joy to others. Awareness of your critical voice, recognizing it as the false voice of ego and not the real voice of spirit, diligently turning the critical voice around as in my “belly” example above, will enable you to create space for compassion and self-love. When the real voice of spirit becomes louder than the ego voice, you will know peace and joy. Be diligent in your quest for consciousness; you are worth it.

 Turning my Critic Around 

Many of the critical messages you accepted as truth were heard when you were a very young child. Perhaps an unconscious parent, another child, a teacher or relative, said something critical that you repeated over and over in your mind, while trying to process the pain of it. In repeating it, you implanted it within your unconscious mind as a true. You believed it, and you began to form your “I”dentity from those beliefs. In other words, you have created much of your life from the perspective of a young child. You are older and wiser now, and so it is time to put the lies disguised as truths to rest.

Do your very best to make a habit of catching yourself in the midst of critical thought, and reframing the criticism using your real voice of spirit. You’ll find some knee-jerk criticisms that are laughable in their predictability and silliness; at some point you will realize that they all are, and turning them around will become natural. You can’t think two thoughts at once, so decide whether you would you rather hear; the destructive thoughts of criticism or supportive thoughts of love?

Turning My Critic Around Exercise

List some of the more prevalent self-critical thoughts you hear in your head. Remaining conscious of your ego voice, asses the criticisms, then rewrite them in a non-critical voice which you will discover more accurately reflects reality. The resistance you may feel is your false ego trying to interfere as you reclaim your real divine voice. Ego is afraid to let go of its power over you and so be rendered useless, so it will fight to keep ahold of your thoughts. The ego seems to push its hardest when you diligently remain conscious of it as a false voice. This indicates that you are beginning to make progress. You might find it challenging to quiet the ego, but it is worth the effort, and so are you.

CRITIC’s EXAMPLE: My stomach is hopelessly soft and fat!

TURN AROUND: My belly’s birthed three beautiful babes, is womanly and healthy.

CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________

TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________

CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________

TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________

CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________

TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________

CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________

TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________

Note the challenges and the triumphs you experienced as you did this exercise. Download the FREE “I AM…” AFFIRMATION hypnosis session on my website to help you change the critical voice into the rewritten statement, positively affirming yourself.

Walk With Love Hypnotic Meditation mp3 and all WisdomWell Downloads:

The Hypnotic Meditation, Walk With Love, will lead you on a journey through gardens, meadows and forest where you will meet a wise new friend, accept the possibility of becoming self-loving, and cleanse yourself of some critical messages.  Listen to this meditation several times each week, until we meet again for next month’s WisdomWell Workshop, and keep it forever.Order WisdomWell Hypnotic Meditations on mp3 for $5.99 at www.insightswithdarcy.com WisdomWell Workshops PDF/mp3 downloads are available for $15.99 at www.positivelybeautiful.com/wisdomwell

Never use any hypnosis audios while driving, or while a driver can hear it!

 

Excerpt from the January WisdomWell Workshop, 2013, Insightswithdarcy.com I began the WisdomWell Workshop series by teaching a useful awareness tool called Applied Kinesiology, or Muscle Testing (I will refer to it as MT in the following text). I call it the “Truth Tool” and you will soon understand why. Read on, and learn how to put this tool to use in your own life: The “Truth Tool” I was first introduced to Muscle Testing (MT) several years ago in a PSYCH-K course I attended in Denver, Colorado, then again when I read Power vs. Force by Dr. David R. Hawkins. The method fascinated me because it offered proof that we know more than we realize at a conscious level. Through MT we can determine truth from falsehood. The wisdom within the walls of our bodies can discern between that which empowers us, and that which weakens us. It gives us an astonishingly simple and  accurate tool for making decisions and discoveries, and determining what is in our best interests. I won’t go too deeply into the science of Kinesiology or MT here, but if you are interested in gaining a deeper understanding of this profound truth-telling tool, I recommend you read Power vs. Force, by Dr. David Hawkins, and Dr. John Diamond’s,Your Body Doesn’t Lie. Dr. Hawkins points out in Power vs. Force: MT is not a predictor of the future, but to be used to check historical or present stimuli. MT consistently demonstrates that muscles go weak when exposed to harmful stimuli. With therapeutic and high vibrational stimuli (ie: holding the thought of Mother Teresa) MT consistently tests strong. Bodies respond appropriately to MT even when the conscious mind of the person being tested is unaware of the stimuli (statement being tested). MT can be used to determine vibration levels. For more on vibration levels, refer also to Power vs. Force by Dr. Hawkins. MT has proven to be a useful diagnostic tool for doctors to detect disease and determine a patients response to treatment, although it hasn’t yet caught on in mainstream medicine. Read Dr. Hawkins’ and/or Dr. Diamond’s books mentioned above for discrepancies, limitations and disqualifications that could create false MT results. You can do it I recommend practicing with a partner. Some people have learned to do MT on themselves, however, I haven’t found it to be reliable. During MT be impersonal with one another; one option is to have the tested partner closes her eyes. I will refer to the person being tested upon as T, and the one conducting the test as C. Let’s begin: Have T stand directly facing C. Have T hold an arm out to the side, parallel with the ground. Now C will place two or three fingers on T’s wrist. Next, C will ask a YES or NO question as a TRUE or FALSE statement, which T will hold in her mind, repeating silently or aloud. After making the statement, C will say to T, “Be Strong”, and will press firmly downward on T’s rigid arm. If T is strengthened (true or +) by the statement, her arm will hold strong. If T is weakened (not true or -) by the statement, her arm will drop as she will naturally lose muscle strength. Please note, MT is not arm wrestling, so T should not fight to keep her arm strong, but normally and naturally resist C’s firm pressure, or not, as the case may be. It is a good idea to test what your partner’s “strong” and “weak” response feels like before beginning. One way to do this is to have T make the true statement, “My name is (correct name)” and C will test it. Then T will make a false statement, “My name is (false name).” The correct or true name will hold strong. The false name will cause T’s muscles to weaken and her arm will drop under C’s pressure. You may want to use MT to help you determine the strength of your work or goals. You may want to use it to check your own vibrational level around something or to determine if a food, relationship, project, object or event is strengthening or weakening you. If you get a weak response around something or someone,  you don’t necessarily need to eliminate it from your life. In the case of relationships or work, in particular, you can use MT to determine what aspect of it is weakening you, and then MT to determine ways to strengthening it. An Example: Recently, I have struggled with a sudden weight gain of five pounds. I checked questions around the issue and my body using true or false statements to determine if the weight gain was related to hormones or food. It was related to food. I checked to see if the weight was caused by carbohydrates in general, and the response was weak (no), so I became more specific. I checked if fruit was the problem, and that tested weak (no). I tested if bread was at issue and  the response was strong (yes). From there I narrowed it down to gluten. I determined through the testing that I do need to cut carbs containing glutens, and that I can continue to eat fruit and vegetable carbs and gluten-free breads without concern. I clearly know that sugar is a saboteur of my wellbeing, so I didn’t bother checking that.  Please note that I could have stated the “fruit” questions in one of two ways: “fruit contributes to my weight gain.” or “fruit is a healthy carb choice for attaining and maintaining my goal weight.” They would elicit two opposite responses, so pay careful attention to the way your questions are phrased and the resulting response. Flex Your Muscle Testing Now that you are somewhat familiar with MT, I invite you to try it for yourself: Exercise A):  Face your partner and think of someone you love or appreciate. It may be someone from history or someone currently in your life (I used Gandhi the first time I tested this exercise). Have your partner conduct the test on you as you hold this person in your thoughts. Did you test + or -? How did your body feel when you held this person in your thoughts? Now think of someone whom you dislike or disrespect (I used Hitler when I tested this exercise). Did you test + or -? How did your body feel when you held this person in your thoughts? Pay attention to how your body feels when you are experiencing a strengthening or weakening response. Creating awareness of the physical response you get from somethings that is strengthening or weakening may help you discern something when MT is not convenient. Your body knows. You simply need to pay attention to what it is trying to tell you. Exercise B): Make the YES or NO statement to yourself, “I believe that I am worthy of living the life I desire.” Did you test + or – ? How did your body feel as you held this thought? Have fun experimenting with MT. I have tested vitamins, the strength of my work, books, food, health and numerous personal statements. Please note that integrity, honesty and intention can certainly play into the accuracy of results, so please do not try to gather information from your testing partner without their consent. For much more detailed information, read Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins, and Your Body Doesn’t Lie by Dr. John Diamond. For more information on WisdomWell Hypnotic Meditations and Darcy Simonson go tohttp://www.insightswithdarcy.com . Several hypnosis sessions for adults and children are available on mp3 and through Apple Store and Google Play by searching Insights With Darcy

Limiting Beliefs, Limited Life?   Consciously Write the Next Chapter of Your Life

About eight years ago I accepted a position as a full-time radio talk show host. I was terrified and knew that in order to succeed I would have to come to terms with two things: why I did not accept recognition and celebration for my work, and how to release fear of criticism and free my voice.

I traced my life back through decades of refusing recognition, allowing others to take credit for my work, hiding from the spotlight, giving away my creative energy and endeavors, and rejecting compliments, to the age of five. The story was written on my fifth birthday, to be exact. The story is long and so I will not share it here, but the point is that from the episode that day, I determined that I was not worthy of celebration, and that if I am celebrated, others are either inconvenienced or in some other way made to feel poorly.

For the next forty two years I lived a life congruent with that belief and, consequently, I have felt unfulfilled and unsuccessful as I balance my creative and visionary gifts with the belief that my potential power and success will somehow cause another sadness, anger or discomfort.

Once I back-tracked to the story’s origins, I could see that the belief I whole-heartedly took on came from the perspective of a darling and compassionate little girl who wanted only to be safe and loved, and truly felt she was not. Looking back with adult perspective, I also saw that I had misinterpreted the situation to mean that I was not loved or worthy of celebration, and that to receive it caused other’s pain. The painful emotions of that day had actually nothing to do with me, but the circumstances and unhappiness that the other already full possessed. With compassion and forgiveness, genuinely felt for the other, I released the belief. I admit, decades-old patterns cause dark residue from this belief to resurface on occasion, but now that I understand it and know that it was a mistaken belief, I can move beyond it toward my fulfillment.

As an aside, I am now acutely aware that I am 100% responsible for my fulfillment, successes and failures, as I can no longer lean on this limiting “truth” to excuse me from becoming all that I am capable of becoming. Also, in freeing myself from this limiting belief, I have freed another of the responsibility I had laid upon her for my limitations. She was not aware of the impact her behavior on my fifth birthday would have upon my life, and she didn’t even recall the episode, yet I am guessing she feels a bit lighter as I free my negative energetic bond with her.

In releasing this life-limiting belief, I went through the following stages:

 1) I recognized I had a pattern that created a problem in my life (pushing away recognition, success, and celebration, sabotaging my self-esteem, feelings of worth, joy, and life purpose).

2) I carefully traced back through my life, every time I refused celebration and recognition, gave credit away for my work, stepped aside from competition I could have easily won, diminished my beauty, etc., until I discovered the origin of the belief, which was for me extremely emotional. I allowed myself this period of deep sadness. I carried that wounded little girl in my heart, and when I was ready…

3) I looked at the situation with compassion for the other(s) involved. I saw the situation from her perspective, forgiving her, then loving her, and forgiving and loving myself as I had not done since that time.

4) I began to re-write my story. After I had sufficiently absorbed the enormity of what I had just done, having unwound this life-limiting belief, I felt mentally, physically and spiritually liberated. I felt courageous, worthy, loved, and ready to get on with living. I filled with gratitude, and accepted that the responsibility for me to be heard, to be recognized for my work, to accept love and to know that I am powerful and worthy of it was now entirely MINE…just as it has always been.

You have already written many chapters in your book of life. Go back and read them with an eraser in hand and a life-limiting issue held in your mind. Granted, you cannot change the events, but you can change your perspective and the beliefs you created during them. Read them allowing for new possible perspectives, with an awareness that everything that limits you from whatever it is you desire is likely due to a limiting belief you have subconsciously created from an event written within the pages of your book. Perhaps something someone said or did has caused you to take on a negative “truth” about yourself. Examine the validity of that “truth”, the perhaps unseen circumstances and limited awareness of others involved. Feel the emotions; be compassionate with yourself and others, and write the next chapter of your book of life with a new truth, an empowering belief of your conscious creation.