Critical Voice, who is in my head?
Ranting all day, whispering in bed.
Nagging and pushing and scolding and more.
I, Critical Voice, am not your whore.
The following is an excerpt from my Walk With Love WisdomWell Workshop, Feb. 2013
I admit, what I teach is what I most need to learn. As I began to write this section of the workshop on critical voices, my stomach literally turned. I placed my hands on my belly, pushing into the pain, and what is the first thing that came to mind? “Damn, I have a squishy-ishy belly” or words to that affect. Recognition of what I did and the timing in light of this “Critical Voices” conversation, struck me as funny and more than a bit ironic. The Universe works in mysterious ways. I appreciate that once I became determined to bring my darkness to light many years ago now, how readily the Universe assisted me by creating ample opportunities to do just that. The point I want to make is that although my critical voice piped up and pointed out what I have yet to release as a “fault” and accept as a part of my unique and divine Self, I NOTICED IT! I caught myself thinking the thought. I stopped the ego in its tracks, simply by tuning into the auto-chatter during a moment of conscious clarity.
I laughed at the silliness of this unconscious critic in my head, and the futility of her words. I noted how her criticisms keep the problem and its emotions alive in me, and I felt grateful for this moment of consciousness. So what did I do with it? I TURNED THE THOUGHT AROUND. (Turning My Critic Around exercise follows).
I changed this critical thought to, “My stomach has birthed three incredible babies; I am grateful that it is doing so well.” WOW. What a difference that made in the level of self-love and acceptance I suddenly experienced. Acts of self-compassion like this save me from resenting flat-bellied models in magazines, or unfavorably comparing myself to the hard-bodied woman who just crossed my mates line of vision. I can find inspiration in their form, instead. I can celebrate that they have mastered their bodies, and see that I can do the same if I choose to. Trust me, I can appreciate the contrast of having both the supportive and critical perspectives because I live them both. One is born of unconsciousness and the other of consciousness, and there is no doubt which place I will continually strive to live from; consciousness brings peace and happiness.
Critical voices emerge from a plethora of messages you have unconsciously accepted as truths or belief about yourself. Nothing about the messages themselves makes them true; they became your defining truths only because you were vulnerable in a moment, ripe for accepting someone’s words as absolute (likely someone you viewed as having authority) or you bought into a society with ego-driven values. These mistaken truths and their critical voices tumble in your unconscious mind and play themselves out daily, creating a tsunami in what would otherwise be the peaceful waters of your mind.
It’s Your Ego Speaking
Ego keeps you separate from love and in a state of constant and often critical self-examination. The ego is not you, but your “I”dentity; it rises out of your history and memories that as Tolle writes in A New Earth, “you identify as ‘me and my story’, of habitual roles that you play without knowing…It also contains personal identifications, not only with possessions, but also with opinions, external appearances, long-standing resentments, or concepts of yourself as better than or not as good as others, as a success or failure.”
To quiet the ego and its critical voice, be cognizant of it in both yourself and others. Rather than reacting to someone’s egoic behavior, or buying into your own, which gives ego strength, recognize that the behavior is coming from ego and not from spirit. Note that the critical voice projected onto you by others; the angry, complaining, jealous, doubtful, accusatory, boastful voice, is not personal to you, but speaks volumes about their own suffering. As for the critical voice inside your head? Become non-reactive to its negative chatter, non-believing of its criticisms, and create space for the expression of the beautiful supportive loving voice of spirit within you. As Tolle points out, our non-reaction to the ego of others, and I’ll add, our non-reaction to our own ego voice, will help bring sanity to all. You can choose to actively observe rather than succumb to ego’s critical voice and divisive intentions.
Learning to love yourself may be the most important and the most challenging growth experience you’ll have. Self-love is the foundation for your happiness, and with it you will radiate love and joy to others. Awareness of your critical voice, recognizing it as the false voice of ego and not the real voice of spirit, diligently turning the critical voice around as in my “belly” example above, will enable you to create space for compassion and self-love. When the real voice of spirit becomes louder than the ego voice, you will know peace and joy. Be diligent in your quest for consciousness; you are worth it.
Turning my Critic Around
Many of the critical messages you accepted as truth were heard when you were a very young child. Perhaps an unconscious parent, another child, a teacher or relative, said something critical that you repeated over and over in your mind, while trying to process the pain of it. In repeating it, you implanted it within your unconscious mind as a true. You believed it, and you began to form your “I”dentity from those beliefs. In other words, you have created much of your life from the perspective of a young child. You are older and wiser now, and so it is time to put the lies disguised as truths to rest.
Do your very best to make a habit of catching yourself in the midst of critical thought, and reframing the criticism using your real voice of spirit. You’ll find some knee-jerk criticisms that are laughable in their predictability and silliness; at some point you will realize that they all are, and turning them around will become natural. You can’t think two thoughts at once, so decide whether you would you rather hear; the destructive thoughts of criticism or supportive thoughts of love?
Turning My Critic Around Exercise
List some of the more prevalent self-critical thoughts you hear in your head. Remaining conscious of your ego voice, asses the criticisms, then rewrite them in a non-critical voice which you will discover more accurately reflects reality. The resistance you may feel is your false ego trying to interfere as you reclaim your real divine voice. Ego is afraid to let go of its power over you and so be rendered useless, so it will fight to keep ahold of your thoughts. The ego seems to push its hardest when you diligently remain conscious of it as a false voice. This indicates that you are beginning to make progress. You might find it challenging to quiet the ego, but it is worth the effort, and so are you.
CRITIC’s EXAMPLE: My stomach is hopelessly soft and fat!
TURN AROUND: My belly’s birthed three beautiful babes, is womanly and healthy.
CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________
TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________
CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________
TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________
CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________
TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________
CRITIC’s VOICE:_______________________________________________
TURN AROUND:_______________________________________________
Note the challenges and the triumphs you experienced as you did this exercise. Download the FREE “I AM…” AFFIRMATION hypnosis session on my website to help you change the critical voice into the rewritten statement, positively affirming yourself.
Walk With Love Hypnotic Meditation mp3 and all WisdomWell Downloads:
The Hypnotic Meditation, Walk With Love, will lead you on a journey through gardens, meadows and forest where you will meet a wise new friend, accept the possibility of becoming self-loving, and cleanse yourself of some critical messages. Listen to this meditation several times each week, until we meet again for next month’s WisdomWell Workshop, and keep it forever.Order WisdomWell Hypnotic Meditations on mp3 for $5.99 at www.insightswithdarcy.com WisdomWell Workshops PDF/mp3 downloads are available for $15.99 at www.positivelybeautiful.com/wisdomwell
Never use any hypnosis audios while driving, or while a driver can hear it!